Long Distance Caregiving is Common

Because we live longer and are an increasingly mobile society, more and more people are responsible for the care of someone who lives an hour or more away from them.

As a long distance caregiver you'll have these considerations:
  1. Can you afford the time and cost of travel? How often?
  2. Are you prepared for changes in your relationship with the person who needs care?
  3. How does your caregiver role affect the other members of your family?
  4. Does caregiving affect your work or other commitments?
  5. Can you be patient and persistent in communicating long distance?

Whether you live in the same town or across the country, a caregiver's job is to gather information and coordinate care services.

If You're a Long Distance Caregiver, Recruit a Care Team
Find a notebook to record information and keep it with you. I carried a small journal in my purse. In it I recorded my mother-in-law's birth date, social security number, insurance number, medications and dosages. Blood type, emergency contacts and the pharmacy phone number were in there, too. Dates and details about phone conversations, doctor and family addresses and phone numbers, all were written in the journal. I kept notes on Assisted Living Facilities, hospital trips, falls, discussions with government agencies, expenses, etc. I kept all her information in one place. If we had an unexpected trip to the hospital, or a form to fill out, it was easy because the information was always available.

Learning about Alzheimer's and how to maneuver its maze is easier if you take notes.

If you're operating from a distance, gather information by telephone, Internet and local relatives. Investigate community resources (including county, state and federal agencies), support groups, the local Alzheimer's Association office, and senior living communities. Check with religious organizations, too.

Use the Elder Care Locator at http://www.eldercare.gov. You can locate the nearest Alzheimer's Association office at http://www.alz.org. I felt enormous relief after calling the Alzheimer's Association the first time. A friendly voice reassured me that she understood the symptoms I described. She mailed a packet of information as soon as we finished talking. It helped. The Alzheimer's Association's Helpline is valuable for every AD caregiver.

Another comprehensive resource is the Family Caregivers Alliance at http://www.caregiver.org. They have an excellent website, and a toll free number, 800-445-8106. Contact them by email or phone, and they'll connect you to an information specialist to advise you on services where your loved one lives.

If you're a long distance caregiver, you can't be there every day. You need to recruit your caregiving team. That sounds more daunting and formal than it is.

A caregiving team is made up of you, other family members, friends, neighbors, church members, etc. who will help. Your care team can include community organizations like Meals on Wheels, and the staff at an adult day care center. Anyone who helps meet the needs of your loved one is on your team.

If you think you're in this alone, please realize you aren't. You CAN assemble a care team that includes you (from a distance), local services and agencies, and other concerned people. Together you can share the responsibility of taking care.

Stay in Touch
Regular email, letters and phone calls that include updates to family and friends can include reminders about renewing prescriptions or doctor appointments, too.

It's important to stay connected so everyone understands the situation. This is harder than it sounds. Sometimes, you won't want to reveal a bad situation, or continued decline. I recommend you do. It will help later, when you need assistance, if everyone understands the situation.

Information Gathering

  • Make a list of questions you want to ask before you call for information.
  • If you think of additional questions later, call again.
  • Ask what services are available for your situation?
  • Cost? Many centers/services have flexible plans
  • How to enroll?
  • Is there a waiting list?
  • Are there any requirements? Does your patient need a physical or a doctor's referral?
  • Keep records of your phone calls - including names and numbers.
  • Take notes while you're on the phone.
  • Utilize conveniences like online banking and bill paying. Many utilities offer automatic debit programs, too.
  • Change the contact information to you if you worry bills won't be paid, risking loss of electric, water, phone, etc.
  • Act as the primary or secondary contact for physicians and other care providers.

Talk About It

Discuss your situation. You never know who may have information you need. Get emotional support by talking to others who can give advice or examples of what worked in their situations. Remember Alzheimer's is hard for everyone, especially the person who needs care. Relinquishing independence, or changing the way a person has always done things will take practice and patience.

Trust yourself to figure out what is best for your loved one. You can do it.

Copyright 2003-2020 | Karen Favo Walsh |  www.AlzheimerStories.com