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Musings on Memory

Names Don't Matter — Emotions Do

6/15/2016

 
Alzheimer's is hard for many reasons, but I think the toughest part is accepting the vanishing act taking place right in front of you. The person with Alzheimer's remains with you physically, but slowly disappears mentally. Sadly, as memories are lost, so are names.

I went from being called "Karen" to "that girl" to "her." Eventually I was nameless. ("Oh, it's you.")

Older woman in wheelchair reads book with her caregiver.
Concentrate on enjoying the moment.
Around the time I began answering to "that girl," I realized names don't matter. At least they don't matter when you're dealing with Alzheimer's.

The fact that my Alzheimer's person didn't have a name for me didn't change the way we felt about each other. Our emotions remained the same. We laughed and cried and worried and loved the same way with and without names.

Try not to dwell on the things that are forgotten. It will make you sad to count your losses. Try instead to honor the relationship and emotions you still can share. 


I'm sure you'll discover that love is love by any name.

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    Copyright 2020 by
    Karen Favo Walsh.
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    Names Don't Matter
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This site is an extension of the book, Alzheimer's Stories. My goal is to offer relevant information to family caregivers of people with Alzheimer's disease. This website doesn't pretend to be more than friendly advice. Please consult medical professionals when making decisions about your loved one's health. Please read our full disclaimer. Copyright 2000-2020 by Karen Favo Walsh. All Rights Reserved.